I wanted to feel the soft tricot on my skin again. I loved the image I saw in the mirror when I was fully made-up and dressed. Passing the cosmetic counter, I imagined myself doing my own makeup or sitting in a perfumed bubble bath, then dusting myself with perfumed body powder before putting on one of those peignoir sets.
I was trying to find a way to resolve these feminine feelings. I went on the Internet and got some valuable information about transvestism and transsexualism. I wasn't sure exactly what I was. I had no physical attraction to either boys or girls. I wanted to find out why I enjoyed the costume and makeup as much as the actual performing itself.