I was told that it was natural to think the way that I did. That was in a quiet moment when we were just petting; man and woman. It wasn't when I was kissing him passionately with every iota of desire and femininity I had in me.
Something was being re-awakened inside me by his loving tenderness and then slaked in the frenzy with which I (yes, me, the " woman') made love to her male lover. I made love to a man, in defiance of everything that I'd said I would never do.
From that first time, I wanted to be a woman.