I gulped. I was afraid. I knew this was not normal. My dad had warned me about "homosexuals" - who, he said, were boys who liked to wear girls' clothes and kiss boys. I felt shame and fear at the thought that I might become a homosexual - and yet I could not ignore or abandon my new, already beloved girlish self.
I would do the deed, I decided. I must do the deed. In deepest, darkest secrecy, I would let myself be the girl of my blissful dreams - no longer a bored and boring boy named Jim, but a sweet, warm-hearted, exciting and excitable girl named Judy. I would be a good girl, a 'brain' and a virgin, yet secretly eager to please some special boy who needed me - even to let him feel my bare breasts.