"Oh, Miss Spurtridge!" he said, approaching her with a mock-serious expression on his face, I am torn, deeply torn, between two aspects of myself. In my official aspect, I know it is my duty to punish you for your misconduct in daring to place yourself, as a female impersonator, before the impressionable students of Rutland Ridge High School - causing great danger to their morals and their purity of mind. You deserve a sharp spanking for your naughtiness in doing so. On the other hand, in my personal aspect I deeply desire to console you for your ill treatment at the hands of bad students, for the loss of your position as a teacher, even for any pain you may have suffered from being spanked.
Obviously, then, sir," said Pauline, "you must spank me first, and then console me. Shall I lie across your oap for my spanking?"
"Yes, please do!"