The ensuing weeks didn't get much better. My job search was becoming more frantic. I could find nothing in my field, and wasn't sure what other kind of work I might want to try. I got my first Unemployment check, and that was only about two-thirds of my old pay. I was going to be in serious financial trouble soon, I realized, if I didn't find something.
And Rich continued his pursuit. He sent me flowers. He left me messages on my machine. He showed up at my doorstep at night, wanting to talk. It seems that he really like the idea of an old-fashioned girl, after all the loose women he had been involved with. The only way I could get him to not be such a pest was to agree to go out with him again. But I made it clear that I wasn't ready to get serious with anyone.
"I understand perfectly, Jen. That's fine. But who knows, I may grow on you," was his delighted answer.
And it was frustrating, because I did like him, I just didn't know how to explain to him my real situation. And I had no idea how he might take it if I did explain it.
"Goddammit, it isn't fair!" I yelled at the ceiling. I was so horny and frustrated I was ready to go out of my mind. All dressed up and nowhere to go, I thought, the story of my life.