I promised to see Eddie tomorrow night. Everyone calls him Ed but Eddie sounds so much cuter and it suits him so mych better. He's just so neat!
I've decided to telephone Mother and ask her, beg her if I have to, to let me come home and talk with her and Daddy. It might be better to write to her but I think I'll call. Forcing me to join the havy hasn't taught me to be a man, only how to bury Marla deeper and deeper so that by now she's suffocating. I'm horribly depressed and need desperately to talk with someone or I'll go mad.
Eddie is my only hope. Maybe he'll like me the way that boys like girls. I swear I'm never going to throw myself at him until I'm sure; although that would be so sexy, so exciting. It's just that I'm scared of what might happen to me if... always that if. It's just so hateful.